


Talking Things Out

by ClockworkDinosaur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8278394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkDinosaur/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: Something's been bothering both Dave and Karkat.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what to tag this with? this is really kinda self-indulgent and something I've been picking at for a few weeks now, and despite the fact I told myself that I would write and post a little less Davekat, I can't seem to keep myself from doing it anyway :,0

Dave still didn't feel comfortable holding Karkat's hand in public, even on the new-Earth where the only people around him were chess-piece people and his closest friends and family. He really wanted to. He didn't know what he thought would happen if he did; nobody was going to jump out at him, spewing hate and shoving a “GOD HATES FAGS” sign in his face.

But the anxiety persisted. He kept his hands firmly in his hoodie pocket as he walked next to Karkat, both of them on their way to the library that Rose and Kanaya had set up. The trip was partially an excuse to get out of the house, partially for Karkat to get as many troll romance novels as he could take home at once, and partially to visit with Rose and Kanaya, who had been busy for months collecting and organizing the books into a system that would make sense to both the trolls and humans.

Once Dave walked in with Karkat, he immediately came to the conclusion that whatever system Rose and Kanaya had come up with was both genius and absolutely incomprehensible to nearly everyone. He saw Jade wandering through the shelves with raised eyebrows. A moment later she noticed him too and bounded over with a huge smile.

“Hey guys!” she said, her voice bordering on a whisper but still loud enough to make Kanaya appear between the shelves with crossed arms and raised eyebrows. Jade stuck her tongue out at Kanaya before turning back to Dave and Karkat.

“Rose and Kanaya did a great job organizing all of these books! Most of them are from our ship and your meteor, but some came from old ruins and stuff! It took a lot of scavenging for books that are still readable, but Dirk and Jake had lots of fun looking around!” she whispered excitedly. “It's a weird system though, so it will take some getting used to,” she added.

“What IS the system?” Karkat asked, in what appeared to be his version of a whisper that brought Kanaya's stern presence back.

“Um...” Jade started, before Rose walked up with an arm full of books and a smile.

“It's a mixture of the Dewey Decimal System and the troll's hemospectrum organization,” she said in lieu of a greeting. “Instead of going by last names, the books are numerically organized by blood-color and genre, except for books written by humans, which are in their own section with a more streamlined numerical system.”

“That is _so_ much more understandable than sorting them by last name, good job. Adding numbers and blood color makes everything easier,” Dave said, his tone betraying no sarcasm. Rose narrowed her eyes.

“Why add numbers though? Sorting by author blood color was fine on it's own,” Karkat said. Dave looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“How would we find anything that way?”

“It's not that hard, Dave. Any wiggler could figure it out, you just-” Karkat started, before Rose cut him off.

“No ranting in the library. Also, do try and keep your voice down. People are here for quiet respite, they shouldn't be subjected to your spirited exclamations.” With a deliberate look at Karkat, she walked away. Karkat crossed his arms and glared.

“Anyways, I'm gonna go try and find something to read, bye guys!” Jade said, waving at Dave and Karkat and returning to the rows of shelves.

“So what kind of weird troll smut are we looking for?” Dave asked, looking around.

“It isn't _smut_ , Dave. It's literature.” Karkat walked deliberately to a shelf with a blue sticker and looked critically at the titles. Dave stood behind him with an amused expression.

“Why blue?” he asked.

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Blue-bloods are notorious for writing the most sordid of romance novels. Quadrant infidelity, cross-spectrum flushed feelings, shit like that,” he explained. “I wouldn't expect a human to understand, even though I've tried upwards of a billion damn times now, and I don't have the fucking crayons to draw you a chart right now.”

Dave _hmm_ ed and let Karkat look through the troll novels. He found himself wandering towards the smaller section of human novels, the shelves more sparse. He had never been that much of a reader, but since the internet was a thing of the past, he figured he would pick up a new hobby.

Once he started looking through the selection he realized that he _still_ wasn't much of a reader. None of them seemed interesting and his brain barely registered the titles before he was looking at something else. Picking something off the shelf at random, he took the book to a small reading area with comfortable couches and soft lighting.

He skimmed the summary of the book at random and had to stifle a laugh.

“What's so funny?” Karkat asked, emerging from among the shelves with his arms full of books that he set on the table next to the couch.

“ _Robert discovers he has romantic feelings for his fellow teammate; can he continue to be on the team while coming to terms with his own sexuality?_ ” Dave read out loud. “Basically it's one of those gay angst novels and I'm going to assume it's ninety percent bullshit.”

“I'm still trying to wrap my head around the ridiculous human notion that gender somehow makes a person unattractive to another,” Karkat said. “Why wouldn't what's-his-name just tell his teammate he has flushed feelings for him? They have the same status since humans don't have a hemospectrum, and the worst he can say is no. It's bullshit.”

“Things weren't that simple before the Earth was fucked over completely,” Dave said. “You tell some dude you wanna suck his dick and suddenly churches are picketing outside your house and people try and beat the shit out of you.”

Karkat stared. “What?”

“Yeah dude. There were entire organizations founded on the fact that gay people were bad or against their religion or whatever,” Dave said, then frowned. “They were especially bad around where I lived, but I guess if the fact Bro kept me locked in the apartment pretty much twenty-four seven had any upside, it was the fact I was never saw any of the douchebags in person.” Dave's stomach rolled as newsreels of protestors flashed through his mind, as headlines of attacks repeated themselves.

He shook his head and gave Karkat a relaxed smile and shrug. “Maybe causing the near-extinction of humanity wasn't so bad, those assholes aren't around anymore.”

Karkat looked confused. “Earth was fucking idiotic before,” he said. “What kind of ass-backwards organization focuses its efforts on being complete nooksniffers? Like holy shit, from what you told me, the planet was already enough of a shitstain on the universe without self-righteous wastes of cell mitosis making things worse.”

“Getting preachy there, aren't we Kankri? You're going to get us kicked out of the library with your yelling,” Dave said.

“Fuck off, you know I'm right.”

Dave raised his hands. “I'm not arguing, you're just ranting to the choir here. You weren't there for the really shitty things they did, dude. Trust me, your rage is completely justified in this case.”

“My rage is always justified, assclown,” Karkat said.

“Yes, I know I'm doing a lot to earn your ire right now. Look at me, existing over here so gorgeously. Any anger you direct at me is perfectly understandable,” Dave said flatly. Karkat rolled his eyes and sat next to Dave on the couch, legs touching.

“I'm not mad at you, okay?” Karkat said. “Sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Why exactly are you so shouty right now though? I mean, even more than usual. You're always shouting but today you've turned the volume to the highest level of ear-splitting indignation I've heard in a while.”

“I'm just a dumbass, don't worry about it,” Karkat grumbled, looking away.

“Oh no,” Dave said, scooting closer, his entire side pressed against Karkat. “We aren't doing the whole _'I'm going to shoulder the entire burden of depression on my own to prove some stupid point'_ game today, babe. You've been like this all day. What's up?”

“You're the reigning champion of that game, Dave. Don't judge me because I don't want to vomit my fucking emotions all over you in a public library,” Karkat said.

“Vomit away,” Dave said, then added in a lower voice, “What are boyfriends for, right?” Karkat gave him a pained look.

“You're still happy being my matesp- boyfriend, right?” he asked, his voice as close to a whisper as Dave ever heard it.

Dave felt all of the air leave his lungs, cold surprise spreading through his body. Karkat's face reddened as Dave gaped.

“Listen, I'm still not exactly used to the whole relationship thing, okay? Let alone a relationship with a fucking alien with no concept of quadrants. And I'm not sure if I'm doing anything right here, maybe I'm just being a clingy asshole but is it so stupid of me to want you to-” Karkat cut himself off with a shake of his head as his voice rose.

“To what?” Dave asked, frowning.

“To... I don't know, show it more? But it's not like you don't show it enough because you do and I love it, I'm just- _fuck._ Maybe it's fucking imbecilic of me but in every movie I've seen, the love interests are always holding hands or making out in public and shit.” He hid his face in his hands. “Jegus, I sound like a fucking needy tool, don't I? All of my knowledge of romance comes from movies and I'm just trying to replicate that I guess, how pathetic.”

“Shit Karkat, I'm really sorry. I didn't know that kinda thing bothered you,” Dave said.

“Because I didn't tell you it bothered me. You aren't a mind-reader,” Karkat said, his shoulders hunched. “And I sure as fuck didn't plan on telling you in a goddamn library.”

“Yeah, this probably wasn't the best place for a feelings jam,” said Dave as he wrapped an arm around Karkat's shoulders. “But I'm glad you did tell me.”

Karkat reached over and grabbed one of the romance novels he had picked. Leaning his head against Dave, he began reading. Dave rested his face against Karkat's head, his cool nubby horns pressing into his cheek lightly.

“Interesting troll smut,” Dave said after a while, his voice sleepy.

Karkat put the book down with a huff. “If I have to explain again that not every romance novel is smut I'm going to-”

“Fly off the handle?” Dave interjected.

“I'm going to set myself on fire,” Karkat said.

“That would be redundant, you're already really hot.”

Karkat whacked Dave's shoulder with the book playfully.

“Alright, no offense to Rose and her library and stuff, but I'm bored as shit and I'm pretty sure if we keep roughhousing Kanaya will come scold us and I can't handle that. Wanna go somewhere else?” Dave asked. Karkat nodded and stood, putting the book he was reading on the large stack on the table. He stared for a moment at the ten or so books, then looked at Dave.

“I'm checking all of these out,” he said decisively. Dave raised an eyebrow. With a shrug, he picked up half of the books and took them to the front desk, Karkat bringing the rest along. Rose sighed at the stacks set in front of her and began writing the titles down. Karkat began wandering back towards the shelves, but before he could get too close to bringing back another ten books, Dave grabbed his hand. His fingers ran over the rough skin on Karkat's knuckles as he very deliberately didn't look around to see if anyone had noticed. He felt Karkat squeeze his hand lightly and relaxed imperceptibly.

Rose finished checking out the books and Dave grabbed half again, walking out ahead of Karkat and holding the door open for him.

“Thanks,” Karkat muttered.

“Let it be known that chivalry is not dead, and is in fact incredibly alive and sexy,” Dave said. Karkat rolled his eyes as the two walked down the sidewalk.

Dave shifted the stack of books into one arm. With a deep and somewhat nervous breath he threw his free arm around Karkat's shoulder. Karkat glanced up at him with a surprised expression.

“Is this okay?” Dave asked.

“Perfect,” Karkat said sincerely, face going red again.

When Dave and Karkat made it home without issue, Dave let out a breath. Karkat kissed Dave on the cheek.

“Thank you,” he said, and took the books from Dave.

“No problem. I take it I won't be seeing you for the next week while you tear through those books like a starving man at a buffet?”

“Damn right,” Karkat said, taking the stack of books to his room.

Dave grinned. Everything was fine.

He had a cute boyfriend and suddenly wanted the whole world to know.

 


End file.
